I made her buy a piano

By Aurora Guzbeth

One single question can break through decades of trauma and tumble down all the walls built around yourself.

Why is it important to connect with the part in you that is the real you?

Did it ever happen to you that you are feeling out of place?  Or that you have the feeling that you in fact are supposed to do something else, be somewhere else?

It is you, the innermost part of you, telling you that it is time to change things to move toward fulfilling your purpose.

In the first chapter of my book “Make Your Time Matter” I am speaking about the purpose each of us is born with, which is the most fundamental part of yourself, the real “you”.

You see, when we are born, we are a new person, a new personality.  Most importantly, we carry a task, a purpose to accomplish that goes beyond the circumstances we are born into.

The circumstances are only the training grounds.  We are being prepared through them to fulfil our purpose.

Nobody tells us this.  We know, our deepest “I” knows it, and never forgets it, even if is silenced by the noise around you.

Because you see, when we are born and we grow up, those around us, the parents, the family, the society and culture, school, basically everybody else is telling us who we are, what are we supposed to do and how are we supposed to live.

Because nobody knows, that you have a purpose, except you, and maybe one or two people along the way who see you deeply and are put there to remind you and encourage you. Your purpose is a very specific one that mostly does not align with anything you were taught you should be.

This “I” gets buried by everything everybody else told you – our duty is to heed to its cry and dig it out and live it.

Otherwise, we “die with the song inside us”, as Wayne Dyer said.

People on their death bed are telling about this, the regrets they had.

Today I had a talk with someone who got stuck in time.  Because their story included hurt, trauma, loss, grief, and pain.

The only thing that connected her with her deepest “I” was the question:

“What did you want to be when you were 5?”

So, I asked her that. The answer startled me, absolutely startled me. 

Here I was facing a super-achieving woman, with high academical degrees, with a very strong drive to create, to give and to get maximum results for herself, for her clients, fully immersed in the corporate world….

And her “I” was to be a pianist!  She had musical talent, her fingers were even created for that!

No wonder, her drive to hard work! It is the drive of a musician!

One might think, she has come way too far from her design and purpose, the distance she came from her dream and design is way too big, will she ever manage to reconnect and fulfil her purpose?

Or just give up and die with the regrets?

I would say: it is not a question of “if”, it is a must.

If music would not become at least an active hobby, she will die with her song inside and those who needed her gifts will be forever deprived of that.

Now you might ask: what about the trauma, the pain, the grief?

Why then, if this is her purpose, was she denied by circumstances not in her power, to pursue a musical career?

We do not know the answer to the why.  Why – is never a good question.

One thing is for sure: she does not have the chance any more to become a child-prodigy pianist, and most probably was not her purpose.

I have the confidence that if she starts today to take steps toward that what her soul knows best and yearns, she will live her purpose with the backdrop of trauma, playing the piano with a depth that would never have happened otherwise.  

Just as a painting that is very much defined by the background and the frame, our lives are defined by the backdrop of experiences and the frame of circumstances that formed us.  The same object, painted with different backgrounds has different effects, it even may look like a totally different object.

Maybe we will never know why some things are happening in our lives, why trauma exists in our lives. And we cannot do comparisons either – because by the nature of comparisons we are putting things in the wrong perspective.

Each of us has a reference with their own “blueprint”, that is unchangeable.  To be able to fulfil that blueprint it needs to go through certain processes – and we can never compare with other people’s processes.

In the Bible there are different illustrations of this “forming” process; the potter, that forms the vessel…. The gold that needs to be refined in the furnace… 

Somehow, there is always heat and pressure, pain and trauma involved. 

The diamond is formed under heat and pressure and can cut through glass; yet without pressure and heat is just a piece of carbon, that only leaves an erasable trace.

We ask why – yet the answer is already in us, it was already there.  We know, somewhere deep, that without the heat of the trauma and the pressure of pain, our song would have not been the same.

We can only become what we are made to be, when we go through the process of fire. That is for each one a different one.

I spoke about her today, because the distance between what she is doing in her life and what her design is, is shocking.  Even I gasped – although my experience was not short of such sensation; yet throughout my life, no matter what I did, writing and teaching (which I believe is my purpose) were present in a way or another, I kept this red thread, it never disappeared. 

So now, this is the crux of the matter: when I find myself so far away from what I am supposed to be or do, will we decide to step into the destined purpose, do the necessary steps toward that, showing my genuine forgiveness, and start healing from the pain and trauma of that fire I went through?  I know, it is not easy at all, especially when we are apparently so very far from that purpose.

The alternative would be to sully in bitterness, unforgiveness, grief and frustration that we are not what we know we are supposed to be, and we have wasted so much of our lives doing what was not even important for that purpose? Will we destroy ourselves and rebel and be revolted, that now it is too late?

Are you still breathing? Then is not too late.

Are you afraid? Think how afraid you were when you first came into this world. Still, you are here.

What would others say?  That is not what matters most.  What matters most is what will others say after you give the world what you really came here for.

Putting in balance what you lose and what you gain if you follow your design – the gain far outweighs the apparent loss of what you have today.  I say apparent, because I hope you realize by now, what you have gained by doing anything else than your purpose is valuable yet cannot even compare with the treasure you have when you fulfil your design.

If you read this and the question “what did you wanted to be when you were 5 years old” brought you memories of things that seems today farfetched… you cannot unknow it. 

Do something about this, do not die with your song inside.

You are reading this because I stepped up to fulfil my design after more than half a century of life. I am here to tell you: you can do it too.

My friend just told me me that she bought a piano and already booked her first piano lesson. Her face was beaming, she was so very happy and full of expectation and excitement. Her healing has begun.

If you need help, I am here to empower you – I was where you are, and I went the distance. 

Let’s meet and have a chat: https://calendly.com/body4glow/30min